


Dinner, Darcy, and the Destruction of the Avengers

by completelyhopeless



Series: Darcy and the Hood [39]
Category: DCU, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Comment Fic, Community: comment_fic, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, F/M, Gen, Humor, possible crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2015-03-22
Packaged: 2018-03-19 03:33:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3594810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/completelyhopeless/pseuds/completelyhopeless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy asks Dick and Babs to dinner with her and Jason, needing advice, but they were not expecting what she wanted help with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dinner, Darcy, and the Destruction of the Avengers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TourmalineQueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TourmalineQueen/gifts).



> For the prompt: [MCU (Thor), Darcy + any, she tasers and runs over another Avenger](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/440007.html?thread=69973447#t69973447)
> 
> Not quite sure it counts because the tasering and running over is only mentioned.

* * *

“That,” Darcy said primly, hands folded together as she struggled not to smirk, “makes five.”

Dick grimaced, exchanging a look with Babs before he spoke. “I know I am going to regret asking this, but five _what,_ exactly?”

“Five Avengers that I've been able to tase,” Darcy said proudly, sitting down and taking a breadstick for herself.

“She's keeping score,” Jason said, shaking his head as he went for the bottle of wine the waitress had suggested when Dick mentioned their dinner would probably get awkward. Babs had given him a look, but he was understating it. Things might be better with him and Jason since Jason started dating Darcy, but that didn't mean they were perfect. Or that Dick wasn't about to get hit by a bunch of TMI again.

“Why are you keeping score of the Avengers you've been able to tase?”

“Because I could do it. No one takes me seriously when I say I want to be a superhero, but if I take down the Avengers, I think they'll start listening.”

“Or they'll call you a supervillain,” Babs told her before sipping from her own wine. “You do need to be careful about that.”

“Please,” Darcy said. “Tony Stark was _so_ easy. All I had to do was use the basics.”

“The basics?” Dick heard himself ask before he could—and should have—stopped himself.

“She distracts guys by asking them if they think she's got anything on under her coat and then tases them,” Jason answered. Babs choked on her wine. Dick managed a good stare, unable to get words out for a minute.

“It totally works,” Darcy said. “I tested it on Jason first before trying it in the field.”

Dick nodded. “Okay.”

“Admittedly, though, Natasha's been the hardest so far,” Darcy went on, reaching for her wine.

“I still say it doesn't count if you have to hit her with a car first,” Jason said, and Dick felt his head start to ache. Darcy had run over Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow, and then tased her? Just to say she could? He wanted someone to tell him this was a prank, but he knew it probably wasn't.

“It was Natasha. It so counted.”

Dick groaned. “Can we not—”

“And that's why I wanted to meet,” Darcy went on. “I was hoping to pick your brains. I need a way to tase the Hulk. Well, I could do it easily if I just went after Banner, but he's such as sweetheart and if I do it wrong with Hulk, he'll take out a city or something, so... thoughts?”

Dick thought he was speechless. Fortunately for him, there was a woman named Babs in this universe.

“I think we need another bottle of this,” she said. “Or maybe ten.”


End file.
